Unease

So, I’ve been having some problems writing lately.

I was about to say I have writer’s block, but upon some reflection I’ve realized it isn’t that at all. I know everything that I’m going to write next. I know how to write it. I know what the characters are feeling.

My problem is I just don’t want to go there.

It takes real soul searching to be able to describe what a character should be feeling at any particular moment. And the thing is, my next chapter is depressing. It’s depressing for my character, and putting myself in her shoes is depressing for me. I have to really make myself feel what she is feeling if I want to write effectively. And it sucks. I don’t want to go there.

I want to believe that once I force myself through the tunnel that my character and I will eventually see the light and it will be worth it. But today it just feels hard. A lot of what I write about comes from personal experience and reliving certain things is mentally and emotionally exhausting.

If you have any tips to help me push past this, please share.

Leaving your comfort zone

So I think I’ve decided to do it. I thiiiiink I’m going to find a way. Yes, somehow I’m going to audition for some kind of community theatre. If I manage to find an open casting call with no experience necessary, I’m there! I will probably be terrible, or freeze from stage fright, but dammit I’m going to try. And try, and try until I become comfortable enough to put my actual best foot forward. Maybe I will get some head shots done (I’m sure I can use them for other things, too) and maybe I’ll get lucky and be cast in some shitty, non-paying, lack-luster production of someone else’s dream. That would be PERFECT. Then I could put that on a resume and maybe eventually, one day, be cast in something that isn’t inherently terrible. I mean, that’s where everyone starts right? The bottom?

I’ve always loved to act but never really pursued it. I am not one to live with regrets and I am not one to decide that it is too late or that I am too old to try my hand at a brand new industry that I have no experience (yet) in. We have to find a way to push ourselves out of our comfort zones and try new things. More importantly, we need to try things that we’ve always wanted to do but haven’t for one reason or another. FORGET the excuses and stop doubting yourself. Start believing instead.

You believe in you, and I’ll believe in me, and one day maybe we will prove ourselves right. I never doubted you for a second.